U Survived Another Summer By Doc

Yes Doc, you are absolutely right. Here I was posting on Facebook about how happy I was that the kids were finally back in school, when a get a text from you, one of my very best friends in the whole world, Doc(strictly said for his benefit since he may read this). " U survived another summer. Can't wait to read the blog" is what the text said. Of course he is not being sincere when he says this. If you know Doc, you know its meant to be funny. He really believes that I am a lady of leisure. Even though I am to some degree, I still have a crappy job, and if you are a mother, you know what I mean. I am not going to start listing my jobs because that is just ridiculous. I am not even going to justify what I do. You just won't understand this if you have a penis. Even though you may be stressed out, it is a different kind of stress, like where are my underwear, or I'm out of antiperspirant, can you pick some up or where are my shoes, have you seen them or what are you making for dinner, which is the most annoying question you can ask me! It's not that I don't want to make dinner, it's just that it really bugs me that it always has to be me. I know! Blah, Blah, blah..........

Anyway, I will say that I had a very easy first day of school. Connor started back a Calvert this year, so there is no drama getting to the bus in the mornings anymore. All the kids ride the same bus to school. So far there has been no drama in the morning regarding showers. It all seems to be working out so far. Thank god for that! I can't stand yelling and fighting but yelling and fighting in the morning would most likely push me over the edge. Speaking of getting pushed over the edge...........

Every year I take a picture of the kids at the bus stop while they wait for the bus and every year they are a complete pain in the ass about it. You think they would learn it would be over faster if they didn't fight it. This year on the way to the bus stop they saw me pull the camera out. "OH MY GOD MOM! ARE YOU SERIOUS. WELL YOU NOT TAKING A PICTURE OF ME" Then Regan and Ian chime in, "ME EITHER". To this I say "THING 1, THING 2, AND THING 3 HAVE TWO CHOICES, YOU CAN EITHER TAKE A NICE PICTURE TOGETHER AT THE BUS STOP BEFORE THE BUS COMES OR WHEN THE BUS PULLS UP, I CAN PUT ON MY FLASH AND LIGHT THE SKY UP TAKING PICTURES AS YOU WALK TO GET ON THE BUS!" Thing 3(Ian) responded very quickly with an OK, OK, I vote for before the bus comes. Connor and Regan followed suit. So I got my pretty little picture. They were actually smiling and let me also take a group photo with the other kids.

We are Moving!

Imagine having older, unappreciative, spoiled, non-conforming, lazy-azz kids. You have the picture in your head? Well, that is my life. On a good note, my kids aren't drug addicts, sex addicts, dangerous to others, misbehaved around others, or dumb-azzes as far as school goes. That I guess I can be grateful for, but the other 50% is annoying as hell. Furthermore, I know this is typical of their ages. Even though this is true, it's old. NO MORE EXCUSES!

I hate, hate, hate, telling my kids more than once to do something or to stop doing something. My favorite line in the house that all three of the kids use is "NOT ME. I DIDN'T DO IT." That's funny because you and I are the only ones here and I sure as hell didn't do it. To this they just smile and realize I am no dummy. Seriously, do they really think I fell off of some turnip truck? Some of my favorite lines I use are "I AM NOT YOUR DAMN MAID. ----"AM I SPEAKING CHINESE BECAUSE I SWEAR I JUST TOLD YOU TO DO SOMETHING AND I AM PRETTY SURE I WAS SPEAKING IN ENGLISH?-----HERE, LET ME PULL IT OUT OF MY ASS FOR YOU, HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW WHERE YOU PUT YOUR THINGS.-----and my favorite "OH MY GOD, EVEN STEVIE WONDER CAN SEE THAT."

As much as I yell, you have to have some comic relief in there for everyone. And even thought the kids find me annoying as much as I find them annoying, they do find something funny in these lines. But, the last line I used on them, they didn't find funny at all. After a while you have to find new tactics to get what you want done. "WE ARE MOVING". They didn't like this one little bit. " If you want to treat a million dollar home like this, I will sell it to someone who will appreciate it." They saw me looking at homes the other day and asked what I was doing. I said I was just looking, I always look to see what is out there. Do you think they could have put two and two together. I am a real estate agent you know, and I do have a few clients right now. They thought I was looking for me. LOL! So I used it against them later. I told them I was running errands and I would be back in a couple of hours. I wanted everything in tip top shape when I got back. They have been so lazy over the summer. To get them to anything is a struggle. The house has gone to shit since they have been home. I can't keep up so I finally had it out with them. I guess they didn't like the idea of changing schools and meeting new friends. So when I got home, It was spic and span. Its only been two days but they are definitely on their toes more so than before.