Lets Shake Our Little Tush On the Catwalk

A few weeks ago, Patty Puss sent out an email asking if any of us were interested in going to a local fashion show. Well, of course I wanted to go. This was going to be either a big flop or a big hit. Either way I wanted to have a front row seat to whatever the outcome was going to be. We decided it would be sort of fun to dress up for the event. We really don't have many occasions to dress up at Calvert County events. We are a simple County. Funny enough there are a lot of wealthy people that live in this County, but the percentage of wealth is very small. So, many events are simple venues that everyone in Calvert County can go out and enjoy. Events are usually an eclectic mix of people which definitely make any event more interesting and exciting. The day of the fashion show was here and our group was emailing to get the scoop on what each other was wearing. It's a typical girl thing to do. You certainly don't want to be the bum of the group. Plus, I feel if you look good, you feel good, and you will give of a confidence that everyone will feel too. Most of the time you won't even know your doing it.

Patty wanted us to meet at her house at 5:30p.m. for cocktails before the show. This is a tough time for me, but the doors to fashion show opened up at 6:30. So 5:30 was an appropriate time before to get together. Two of the P's, Ann and Katie, wanted me to come pick them up on the way to Patty's house. I am usually the designated driver because I don't really drink. On occasion I get a wild hair up my ass and let my hair down for a night. This was not the night though. I had to get home and get up early to go the Vintage Source and then rush to be home by 9am for Ian's first lacrosse game. So, driving wasn't going to be a problem. After picking up Ann and Katie, we headed over to Patty's house. I was running late, so this meant half of the group was arriving late to the cocktail party because I was driving. I don't like to be late for things at all. People set times for a reason. What is being fashionably late anyway? Half of the people that arrive late look as if their alarm never went off. They aren't show stoppers. Most of the time, they are people that were on the bottom of the list anyway. Now, I am not saying that I have never been late to anything. I am saying I don't like to be. Being a few minutes late is OK. A half an hour is pushing it. Anything over a half an hour is flat out rude! Usually your friends understand or you have told the hostess already that you may be running a little late. This is acceptable. Usually the late comers are the late leavers. I can't stand to be the last one to leave, unless I am at a good friends house. My husband Pat has a tendency to be a late leaver. It's so f-----g annoying. What would one of my blogs be if I didn't throw Pat under the bus just once. Once Pat has a few drinks and he is feeling good, he wants to keep that good feeling going all night long. I don't mean in the sac either. We were at one of our good friends house one night and Pat was really overstaying his welcome in my opinion. Even though everyone was having a great time, you could tell everyone was also pooping out. Pat wasn't close to being finished. Since I am usually the sober one, I can pick up on the subtle clues of "Please Leave". Pat usually has a buzz or is drunk, so how can pick up on any cues? How about listening to your wife. How about that? It got to the point were the host starting stripping down to his boxers to get Pat and a couple of others to leave. It took a second for these drunks to realize "Oh, I guess we better leave." Now every time we go over to this friends house, all he has to say is he getting ready to strip down and everyone gets the message.

When we got to Patty's house, she was running around a little crazy looking for the fashion show tickets. The tickets were presold and none would be sold at the door. That started off the evening interesting already. I thought everyone looked great. Missy was actually putting her make-up on when we arrived. We all were actually suppose to do make-up over Patty's. I actually forgot all about that. We just had cocktails over at Patty's house. They were suppose to serve us one drink and appetizers at the fashion show. This was included in your ticket price. We headed to the fashion show and Patty squared the ticket situation with the ladies at the show. It was all good. We were in. It was pretty crowded. They had local vendors there of women owned businesses. That was cool. They also had a backdrop like you would see at the Oscars or Emmy's where the stars would get their picture taken with their award. I got one picture taken with my mother-in-law and one with the "P" crew. When the "P" crew got up to take a picture, all of a sudden a few cameras were snapping shots. They must have taken 10 pictures of our group. I will post a photo if I can get one. "I am starving! Where are all these appetizers?" This was the only shitty thing about the night. The appetizers were good, if you could get one. I finally started camping out at the kitchen door so I could get them as they came out. I still only got like two. They never came out. And, when they did, they had about 10 appetizers on a serving plate that was the size of a salad plate. I finally said to the girl, "What is up with this? Why aren't you using a big serving platter? You can't serve all these people like this." She said, I had a platter but some people knocked it over so I got a smaller plate. Simple answer from a simple girl. What an idiot. Where was the person in charge of food service? I shouldn't have grilled her because she never came back out and I was STARVING!!!! They finally started to let people upstairs for the fashion show. I was close to the front of the line but then moved out of line for a reason I can't remember. I was probably digging through the trash for food I was so hungry. Anyway, our group got up late and got shitty seats. It was still fun though. Some of the models looked nervous and some worked it. Some of the cloths and bags and hats were very cute. I do think they could have set the room up better for everyone to see better.

We finally left and headed to Neptunes Bar where the first order of business for me was FOOD! I was also excited to me Ann's new man. The last guys name should have been Spider Man. I won't get into that but it was scary. Chuck was losing points when it looked like he was trying to be fashionably late. I will say that it was the bar clock that was fast because when I checked my watch and phone time, he was only a few minutes late. I was pleasantly surprised. They seemed to be a good fit. Have you heard of getting "jumped in"? Well its a term gangs use when they initiate a member into the gang. The gang actually beats the crap out of the person wanting to join in. If they can stand being beat up badly by the group than they are worthy to be a member of the gang. We won't make Chuck "jump in" just yet. We have to give him time to see if he is worth even being part of this exclusive club. Actually Ann has to say he is the one. My short little interview with him was really good. He told me exactly what I wanted to hear. So, either he was very genuine or very clever. I will say genuine. I've been around and it's not easy to con me. At one point before Chuck showed up, Pussy Pussy asked me if she had drunk hair. Funny enough she didn't . She was good to go when her new man showed up. After observing them for a while she seemed really happy. That makes me happy. Hopefully this one will be a keeper. If he doesn't work out, I guy named Marc Goodman(Guppy) at the fashion show had his sights on Ann. Picture this; A Wispy,White-haired guy in a suit, Navy blue jacket, buttoned down collared shirt to show his hairy white chest, dress slacks, and penny loafers. He told me to let him know if it didn't work out for Ann. Ann is the last really single girl in the group. Hopefully this isn't pressuring her into finding someone to settle down with. I really don't think this is the case though. I wish her all the best. She deserves it.

Just Say No!

It really amazes me when people can't say no to things and then they have the nerve to complain about it. I have seen this happen time and time again. These people are just really nice or really stupid. I would like to opt for nice, because most of these people ARE my friends. I don't do stupid. Then again, I don't think these people are nice either. If they were just nice, they wouldn't complain about doing the nice things they get credit for. I am just flat out going to say no if I feel I am getting taken advantage of.

The first time this happened to me when I really recognized this happening was when I was a volunteer at the kids elementary school. I tried to be a volunteer in my kids class, but got stuck in some other teachers class. I didn't know any better. I took them at their word that my son's class was full. This teachers class was across the hall from Connor's class, so I figured I could just peek in on him when I was there. This teacher worked my ass off the two days that I volunteered during the week. I might as well have taught the class for her. I thought to myself, "Does she even do anything until I come in?" I did this ladies bulletin boards, copying, grading, and tutoring. I didn't just hang up things she gave me for her bulletin boards, I had to create it from scratch. She told me the theme and I came up with the idea and design. That was a shit load of work, but my bulletin boards were always the best in the school. I actually had teachers begging me to work in their class. I was thinking "Of course you do! You lazy bunch of bitches. Not only do I do great work, but I am doing all your work and I am doing it FOR FREE!!!!!". I wasn't even in the classroom with my son. That was the point in the first place. One day I overheard the teacher whose class I worked in talking to another teacher. The other teacher was telling her how lucky she was to have an aide like me a few days a week. Teacher I worked for commented back something like go find your own slave labor and keep your hands off mine. "Bullshit!!!! I am not your slave labor. Find some other sucker to do your homework for you because this girl is done!!!!". I know what your thinking. Did you say that? Hell no I didn't say that. I was thinking it. If I would have said that, Connor would have had to suffer the consequences of that. I just walked out and never came back. I haven't volunteered for the school system since that. Pat and I only do field trips. He takes one a year and I take one a year.

The incident that just happened recently happened to a friend of mine. This girl is a Saint! Well probably just a goodie to shoes. That is what I call her. My girlfriends daughter was going to her good friends birthday party. Her daughters friend asked my friend to make her birthday cake. She asked right in front of her own mother. Well my friend was caught off guard. This wasn't just an ordinary cake, it was a cake that was on the COVER of Martha Stewart Living Magazine. This little girl is only in third grade. Little kids say and ask for things all the time. They don't know that this cake is going to take a couple of days to make. My girlfriend should have said something like. " Oh that is a really pretty cake, I'm sure your mom would want to do that for you." or something like that. What worse is that the little girls mother didn't say anything when her daughter asked my girlfriend to make this magazine cover cake. So, my girlfriend said OK. When she told me the story, I couldn't believe it. I was infuriated for her. She was pretty pissed about it herself. She complained about doing it the whole day she had to take making it. The little girls mother even had the nerve to text my girlfriend to find out when she was going to have the cake done so she could get it over to her house before the party started. I'm sorry but that is NERVY!! I would have cussed that mother out by now. Actually I would have said NO!!!!!!! in the first place.

After all that bitching and complaining by my girlfriend and me lecturing her on how to tell people NO, she just made excuses for the other mother. "Well, she's poor, or she's just a sorry little nice redneck, and my daughter is really good friends with her." WHO CARES!! SHE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOUR KINDNESS!!! I think she was just making excuses for herself for letting someone take advantage of her. Furthermore, you can't claim to be a Saint if you complain about doing an act of kindness. Your not being kind then. I won't canonize her just yet. She does everything! She will make you and me look bad. It's almost annoying sometimes. If her husband wants sex, she gives it to him. If her kids ask her to do something, she will drop what she is doing to do it, even though her kids are more than capable. If she wants to take a trip, god forbid, she will be made to feel bad about it. It's bullshit. This is a strong, smart, and capable women. It's time she start to stand up for herself, but she won't.

First of all, if I ever just gave Pat sex when he wanted it, he would probably have a heart attack on the spot. My kids are self sufficient because I don't wait on them hand and foot. Nobody puts this baby in the corner. I will always be out front and straight forward with you about how I feel.and I will never let anyone take advantage of me or someone I care about. Once you learn that is OK to say "NO" when people ask you to do something, it gets easier. Why are you saying yes to doing things that make you uncomfortable in the first place?

You Are All Wrong! / Recipe poll

I can't believe it! No one guessed the correct answer to my weight poll. That's right. I really did gain 10 pounds when I quit the old cancer sticks. My weight almost drove me back to smoking again. On top of that, the damn snow storm ruined me! I was trapped inside with no place to go. I just sat around and ate and ate and ate. I still catch myself eating and eating and eating. When I leave for the gym in the morning or afternoon, whenever my classes are, I try to run around as much as I can to stay away from the house. I run around because if I go home, all I want to do is eat.

I will say that food tastes so much better. My fat butt must have really been enjoying the flavors of being smoke free. Of course, it didn't help that I bought a couple things that I shouldn't have. Those of you that know me well, know what I am talking about. I don't even want to say their devilish little names(hint, hint). I feel like a conehead when I eat those little suckers. I just gobbled those suckers right down in just a few seconds. Trust me when I tell you the saying is true. "Good on the lips means 10 on the hips!" This is no joke to me. This is serious business. I will say that I used to be much heavier than this my freshman year in High School, but I won't let that happen again.

Since I got back on a work out schedule, I am down 3 pounds. I have 7 more to go. It is getting very frustrating because I still treat myself quite often. I might have to just fast for a few days and hit me where it hurts, my voracious appetite. I can't believe how much I just want to eat. I am thinking about food right now. It's f------ horrible! I am not cutting out bread! I love bread. When Pat went on his low carb diet, we were all losing weight. Finally the kids said "Hey we're not on a diet. We want some french bread." I agree! Pat will just have to get over it. But, now I may have to rethink the whole carb thing for ME. I haven't diet'd in forever.

I think I have a great recipe to share with you and you can make it low calorie. At least once a week in the house, I have a use what you have already night. I go in the pantry and the fridge and try to use what I already have. On this particular night, I had a whole rotisserie chicken, half of a large onion, and fresh garlic I wanted to use up. What am I going to do with this? I couldn't have my signature hot chicken with gravy sandwiches because Pat couldn't have the mash potatoes or the bread and my big ass could do without it as well. So, I went to the pantry and found ton's of chicken stock. Why do I have so much damn chicken stock? I still have no clue. I always have tons of tomato sauce and diced tomatoes in a can. A girlfriend of mine had told me about a recipe she made once. I couldn't remember the recipe but I thought I could probably build on what I remembered. So I made a chicken tortilla soup. I also remember eating a great chicken tortilla soup when I worked at Smokey Joes. That one was spicy. The one I made wasn't spicy, but it was absolutely delicious! I am going to share the recipe with you. You will be a huge hit with this soup. It is also super quick and easy and for the most part you will probably have these things in your pantry already. I did.

Chicken Tortilla Soup

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• 1 medium onion chopped

3 cloves of garlic minced

• 3tablespoons of corn oil
• (cook these ingredients in a dutch oven until onions are translucent)

add one regular size can of diced tomato

1 large container of chicken stock(32 ounces)

2 teaspoons of Cumin(or more if you like)

add diced, chopped, or shredded chicken

(add as much as you like)

For the piece De resistance' add 1 cup of your favorite salsa. I used Safeway's 3 bean salsa(medium heat) this really spiced up the soup

NOTE:You can add black beans or corn to the soup for interest(or add both). Also to make it easy for me, I bought the pre-cooked chicken and put that in. It saves time to have the chicken pre-cooked. I have made the soup twice now and used the rotisserie chicken once and the pre-cooked perdue strips once and cubed them.

Now you want sides. You add these on the top if you like and they add so much to the soup. WARNING: Some of these toppers aren't low fat or low carb. Toppers are sour cream, Tortilla chips crumbled up, Mexican cheese, and hot sauce if you like. Add one or none. It's up to you. I think the chips are a must(at least a few) If your having a party, use the blue corn chips because they look cool!

This soup is the bomb! I couldn't stop eating it and neither could my family. I can't wait till you try it and let me know what you think. I will have another poll about the soup. Click on to vote.