Addiction is no fun! I have been smoking for many years now. The only time I quit was when I was pregnant. So technically I can subtract 3 years. This has been one of the biggest challenges of my life lately. When you have 3 kids that stress you out to no end, not smoking isn't easy. Smoking is my stress reliever and what I like to do when I sneak away for some quiet time or a break. I really enjoyed it. What I didn't enjoy was being out of breath at every spin class or freaking out if Pat was smoking cigs out of my pack, or being yelled at for taking Pat's lighter, or paying between $8-10 for a stupid pack of cancer sticks. Why am I paying for lung cancer, emphyzema, or COPD! I WANT TO LIVE! This has been no easy challenge for me, but I am up for a challenge. It really hasn't been long. It's only been about a week.
I was at a friends house for New Years Eve and one of the guest was sucking on an inhaler all night. Every step he took, he was gasping for air. I know what it's like to gasp for air and try to catch your breath but you can't. It's not a good feeling. It's pretty damn scary! I said to myself "I don't want to live like that." So for the mean time I have chosen not to. I catch myself thinking less and less about smoking. When it does cross my mind I just keep telling myself "Its my body that wants it, NOT ME." It helps me to have a little chant to keep repeating to myself. I am more determined this time than I have ever been in the past. You have to be determined when you are around it everyday. Most of my friends smoke as well as my husband Pat. That is the toughest challenge to date, living with a smoker. Although I have to say it's not that tough anymore. When I quit, I quit when Pat left for a business trip. He left, I threw out all the cigs, emptied all the ashtrays(for fear I would look for a butt I could take a hit off of) and said "It's Over between us! You are no good for me and things that are no good for me have no room in my life!" It's not over though and I have a feeling my relationship with smoking will not be over for a long time. I will always be a smoker at heart. As much as I say no, there is that side of me that will always want to say yes. Lets be honest and realistic too. It's only been a week.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Why can't I leave a message?
I have a schedule just like everyone else. I have a planner I go by and that is my bible. It's not just a planner with my personal things on there, it has the whole families schedule as well. So just recently we were scheduled to eat dinner with a couple of friends. We had never really set a time. I tried to call Pat a few times during the day and got no answer. Well when that happens, normal people leave a message. That is what I use to do, until Pat call me up and sounds a little ticked when he says "did you leave me a message?" I'm like, "yeeees(like a little kid would say when they are in trouble)" Then I snap back and say "What else am I suppose to do CHEESE(said with confidence like the real Mary would say)?" Then Pat says, I see that you have called, you don't need to leave a message, I will call you back. I'm sure that may sound ok to you, but that sometimes is no good for me. I don't have time to wait for you to call me back. Furthermore, what if I can't remember what I called you for in the first place? This has happened on occasions. Not often, but it has happened. I mean really? Is that what you say to your customers when they call and leave a message? I would like to see you try it. Damn it! If I need to leave a message, I will!
So the other day I had to call Pat to see what time he could meet everyone for dinner. He is the one who works the furthest away. I called Pat a few times and he never called me back. You know this not leaving a message thing is DUMB!!!!!!! I can't worry myself with this stupid question all day "What time can you meet for dinner?" I have a life too, remember? It didn't stop the day we got married you know. I knew he was probably in meetings. He could check his messages when he was done and get back to me so I left a message. I was a little annoyed at this point so the message sort of went something like this. " Hello, this is your wife. Maybe you think this is your slave, since you have me running around doing YOUR errands for YOU today, but it's not. It would be nice if you thought I was important enough to get back to today. Need to know what time you can meet us for dinner?". Guess what? He called me right back. It's funny, all the times I called that day, he didn't call me back until I left a message, and a nasty one at that. It sort of makes you think, was he ignoring my calls, did he really have a meeting?........
Who cares! I got my answer.
So the other day I had to call Pat to see what time he could meet everyone for dinner. He is the one who works the furthest away. I called Pat a few times and he never called me back. You know this not leaving a message thing is DUMB!!!!!!! I can't worry myself with this stupid question all day "What time can you meet for dinner?" I have a life too, remember? It didn't stop the day we got married you know. I knew he was probably in meetings. He could check his messages when he was done and get back to me so I left a message. I was a little annoyed at this point so the message sort of went something like this. " Hello, this is your wife. Maybe you think this is your slave, since you have me running around doing YOUR errands for YOU today, but it's not. It would be nice if you thought I was important enough to get back to today. Need to know what time you can meet us for dinner?". Guess what? He called me right back. It's funny, all the times I called that day, he didn't call me back until I left a message, and a nasty one at that. It sort of makes you think, was he ignoring my calls, did he really have a meeting?........
Who cares! I got my answer.
Hurry up and wait!
While reading a girlfriends status update on Facebook, it infuriated me to find out she waited over an hour for her doctors appointment. What shocked me even more was to hear everyones comments on "Oh they double booked", "It's all about the money", "the doctor must have been busy at the hospital", Blah, Blah, Blah. Sounds like a bunch of lame excuses to me! I was probably just like every person who made those comments years ago when I was younger and didn't know any better.
Years ago, probably about 14 years ago, I was waiting around in the pediatricians office with Connor. He was still a baby. I was taking him in for one of his scheduled visits for shots or boosters or something like that. I remember waiting, and waiting, and waiting. I vividly remember looking at my watch to see how much time I had been waiting to see the doctor. I would see people come in, sit down, then get called back. This went on and on for about 45 min. Needless to say, I was a bit annoyed. When the next patient got called back, I got up and went to the receptionist and politely asked why it was taking so long. The receptionist non chalantly said, "oh the doctor is just a little overbooked today, because of sick kids that we squeezed into the schedule". I leaned over the counter and said, "Well as far as I'm concerned, I had an appointment scheduled for today weeks ago and I have been waiting patiently for over 45 minutes now. So the poor little sick kids you squeezed into to schedule can get squeezed in after my appointment and every other appointment scheduled weeks ago." I will never forget the look on the receptionist face. How dare she look at me like I'm some kind of Criminal. I was absolutely right. They were wrong. When she told me "As soon as the Doctor had time, she would get me back, I said, "I think its funny how you think my time as well as everyone else time out here isn't valuable too. How about this. I will send the doctor a bill for my time that was wasted here waiting for her!" She didn't like that either. I can tell you this, I have never waited again.
That kind of senseless waiting makes me mad, but it occured to me, I wait much more than I thought. It's the mother/wife kind of waiting. Waiting for the kids to do what you tell them too. Waiting for the garbage to be taken out, waiting for the wash to get done, waiting for the clothes in the dryer to dry, waiting for the bathroom, waiting in line at the grocery store, waiting for a piece of equipment at the gym, waiting for a friend, waiting for your husband to get home for dinner, waiting for the bus in the morning, waiting for the bus in the afternoon, waiting for sports practice to end and so on and so forth. Believe me when I tell you the list goes on and on. It's not so much the waiting for some of these things because it just sort of goes without saying, its what happens to a person while they have to wait. For instance, when Regan and Ian get off the bus in the afternoon, they can easily walk home. Certain days, if the the weather is bad, I will go to the bus stop to get them. What really ticks me off is when I am waiting and waiting, the bus comes and they are not on it. They got off at another stop!
My favorite story and probably the crowning glory of all waiting stories has to do with my best friend, my husband. I can tell you that for a long time he was not my best friend. He was enemy number 1. He pushed me to the limits one night. Those of you that know me, know that I don't physically attack. I like to verbally attack. I get much more satisfaction out of cutting you to the quick than I ever would of physically hurting you.
When Pat and I were very young and just married, it was a hard adjustment for both of us. Actually it was a hard adjustment for me. Pat was still living the same life he had always lived. Mostly ever night, when I got home from school and from picking up Connor from daycare, I would go home and make dinner before Pat got home from work. Some nights Pat would come home and some nights Connor and I would just sit there at the table and Pat would never show. The first couple of times this happened, I was worried something bad had happened. Then Pat would walk through the door a few hours later and say he was at Neptunes for happy hour. I would be so mad. He would apologize and it would be over. Thinking this would never happen again, next week would come, and Pat would do the same thing. This got old real quick. One night, I called down to the bar, he liked to go to. The bartender said he was there. So, I packed Connor up and headed to the bar. Little did Pat know I was on a mission. When I walked through the door with Connor, Pat gave me the warmest welcome. He was so happy to see me. Little did he know I was cursing him with every profanity I could think of in my head. "You rat bastard, I sit at home, make you dinner, wait around for you to show, take care of your son, and wonder if you are dead or alive!" I handed Connor off to Pat and said I'm done. How about you watch your son for a while. It's pretty sad we have to come and see you in a bar. Hey Rude "Why don't you try to pick up the phone and call next time you won't be home. I don't have time to waste on someone who doesn't appreciate me and what I am doing." I do still have a life you know, but it seemed to stop when I hooked up with you.
Needless to say, this has never happened again. Pat saw the error of his ways. A little embarassment and humiliation in front of your buddies doesn't hurt either.
Years ago, probably about 14 years ago, I was waiting around in the pediatricians office with Connor. He was still a baby. I was taking him in for one of his scheduled visits for shots or boosters or something like that. I remember waiting, and waiting, and waiting. I vividly remember looking at my watch to see how much time I had been waiting to see the doctor. I would see people come in, sit down, then get called back. This went on and on for about 45 min. Needless to say, I was a bit annoyed. When the next patient got called back, I got up and went to the receptionist and politely asked why it was taking so long. The receptionist non chalantly said, "oh the doctor is just a little overbooked today, because of sick kids that we squeezed into the schedule". I leaned over the counter and said, "Well as far as I'm concerned, I had an appointment scheduled for today weeks ago and I have been waiting patiently for over 45 minutes now. So the poor little sick kids you squeezed into to schedule can get squeezed in after my appointment and every other appointment scheduled weeks ago." I will never forget the look on the receptionist face. How dare she look at me like I'm some kind of Criminal. I was absolutely right. They were wrong. When she told me "As soon as the Doctor had time, she would get me back, I said, "I think its funny how you think my time as well as everyone else time out here isn't valuable too. How about this. I will send the doctor a bill for my time that was wasted here waiting for her!" She didn't like that either. I can tell you this, I have never waited again.
That kind of senseless waiting makes me mad, but it occured to me, I wait much more than I thought. It's the mother/wife kind of waiting. Waiting for the kids to do what you tell them too. Waiting for the garbage to be taken out, waiting for the wash to get done, waiting for the clothes in the dryer to dry, waiting for the bathroom, waiting in line at the grocery store, waiting for a piece of equipment at the gym, waiting for a friend, waiting for your husband to get home for dinner, waiting for the bus in the morning, waiting for the bus in the afternoon, waiting for sports practice to end and so on and so forth. Believe me when I tell you the list goes on and on. It's not so much the waiting for some of these things because it just sort of goes without saying, its what happens to a person while they have to wait. For instance, when Regan and Ian get off the bus in the afternoon, they can easily walk home. Certain days, if the the weather is bad, I will go to the bus stop to get them. What really ticks me off is when I am waiting and waiting, the bus comes and they are not on it. They got off at another stop!
My favorite story and probably the crowning glory of all waiting stories has to do with my best friend, my husband. I can tell you that for a long time he was not my best friend. He was enemy number 1. He pushed me to the limits one night. Those of you that know me, know that I don't physically attack. I like to verbally attack. I get much more satisfaction out of cutting you to the quick than I ever would of physically hurting you.
When Pat and I were very young and just married, it was a hard adjustment for both of us. Actually it was a hard adjustment for me. Pat was still living the same life he had always lived. Mostly ever night, when I got home from school and from picking up Connor from daycare, I would go home and make dinner before Pat got home from work. Some nights Pat would come home and some nights Connor and I would just sit there at the table and Pat would never show. The first couple of times this happened, I was worried something bad had happened. Then Pat would walk through the door a few hours later and say he was at Neptunes for happy hour. I would be so mad. He would apologize and it would be over. Thinking this would never happen again, next week would come, and Pat would do the same thing. This got old real quick. One night, I called down to the bar, he liked to go to. The bartender said he was there. So, I packed Connor up and headed to the bar. Little did Pat know I was on a mission. When I walked through the door with Connor, Pat gave me the warmest welcome. He was so happy to see me. Little did he know I was cursing him with every profanity I could think of in my head. "You rat bastard, I sit at home, make you dinner, wait around for you to show, take care of your son, and wonder if you are dead or alive!" I handed Connor off to Pat and said I'm done. How about you watch your son for a while. It's pretty sad we have to come and see you in a bar. Hey Rude "Why don't you try to pick up the phone and call next time you won't be home. I don't have time to waste on someone who doesn't appreciate me and what I am doing." I do still have a life you know, but it seemed to stop when I hooked up with you.
Needless to say, this has never happened again. Pat saw the error of his ways. A little embarassment and humiliation in front of your buddies doesn't hurt either.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Is Ian's gentle heart gone forever?
It snowed Thursday night and when I woke up Friday morning, there was a fresh blanket of snow laying on the ground. I scrambled for the remote to check for school closings. I was praying for school delays. Last thing I wanted to be was stuck at home with all three kids for the day. It may sound horrible to say, but it's every mothers secret fear. I enjoy my alone time during the day. The Kitchen stays clean, there is no screaming or fighting, and I don't have to answer to anyone as to where I'm going. And, most importantly, I don't have to entertain a bunch of kids who don't appreciate it anyway. As I turned on the news, I anxiously awaited our school district to pop up. I had to look for two counties, Calvert for Regan and Ian, and St. Marys for Connor. Calvert pops up and its a 2 hour delay. Thank God! St. Mary's pops up and they are closed. Oh well, two out of three is not bad at all. Connor sleeps for most of the day anyway, and he could really care less if I was even breathing. I guess that is all teenagers.
As I took Regan to the bus stop, she asked me why Connor was still in bed. I had to remind her that Connor's school is in a different county, trying not to tell her school was closed for him. I tried to dance around it, but she just kept probing. "Well if Connor is two hours late he should be up getting ready" I said "If he was two hours late he should be getting ready." Regan is like a mother hen. That's a nice way of putting. Question after question kept coming from her. Finally I said "Regan, enough already, he is off today!" The worst noise you could ever have to hear in the morning filled up the hoopty. Just as she was having a break down, the best site I could ever see came around the corner, the bus. One down, and one to go, Ian.
Ian wasn't very happy about Connor staying home either. I had to hear his ranting and raving about why he should get to stay home too. If I had to hear this isn't fair one more time, I was going to loose it! Trust me, if I was making the decisions, everyone would be in school. Ian really had a breakdown when I reminded him he had wrestling practice when he got home. This has been another issue around the house. Ian is in 5th grade and decided he wanted to try wrestling out. Some of his friends wrestle and So Ian got convinced somehow that he might like it. Plus, he thought the shoes were really cool. When he first told me this, my heart jumped in my throat. I really can't stand wrestling. Pat and his brother wrestled. I remember going to matches and looking around and seeing all the pasty, emaciated looking boys. They were all starving themselves to make weight. I was adamant that my son was never going to do that or wrestle for that matter. Eleven years later, here I am faced with the issue I thought I would never have. Years ago when Ian first saw a singlet, he was appalled. "Dad, that is way to tight! I don't want people to see my privates showing." That's all she wrote. Pat was disappointed but I was overjoyed. How did this all turn around? I still have no clue.
Last weekend, Pat entered Ian in a sort of scrimmage tournament. He said he had to get his feet wet before the real tournaments. I was crushed. I knew Ian was in for it. This is not an easy sport when you are a gentle heart like Ian. For goodness sakes, he picked kids up off the field during football games if he tackled them. And if he hurt them, it was even worse. He would feel so bad. Now he has to purposely go out and hurt someone. Now I walk into the gym right before Ian has to wrestle, and as soon as I walk to the corner of the mat, there are two kids wrestling about 7 or 8 years old. The kid on the bottom is on the bottom begging for the kid on top to stop hurting him. As the tears rolled down this little boys face, I lost it! I started to cry. I just wanted to rip that kid on top off and say stop!!!! I must have cried off and on the whole time we were there. Ian would lose, he would start crying and then I would start crying. Ian would lose again. He would start crying and I would start crying. Just when I was about to cry again, Regan walked up to me and said "jeeze louise, this room is filled with a lot of emotion!" I started to laugh hysterically! I looked aroung the room, and seriously, almost every boy who lost, came off the mat in tears. I didn't know if I could do this all year.
Well, today Ian had his first real tournament. I thought I was going to die when I learned he was wrestling a girl. My heart just sank. If he loses, he would be given a ration of shit from his teammates, not to mention the humiliation of it all. The whistle blew and they went at it. I was videotaping but I was just numb. She put up a good fight. That's for sure. Ian was wrestling with a lot of adrenaline. I knew he probably had the same thoughts I had. Ian was winning in points by the end of the first period. When the second period started, I was just wishing it would end. Luckily Ian put her in a head lock and pinned her for his sake. What boy could have lived that down? The girl got up crying from being practically choked to death and Ian didn't seem to feel bad at all. He was feeling pretty victorious. Where was Mr. Gentle Heart today? I hope he is not gone forever because I will miss him very much. If this is what wrestling does, I dislike it even more.
As I took Regan to the bus stop, she asked me why Connor was still in bed. I had to remind her that Connor's school is in a different county, trying not to tell her school was closed for him. I tried to dance around it, but she just kept probing. "Well if Connor is two hours late he should be up getting ready" I said "If he was two hours late he should be getting ready." Regan is like a mother hen. That's a nice way of putting. Question after question kept coming from her. Finally I said "Regan, enough already, he is off today!" The worst noise you could ever have to hear in the morning filled up the hoopty. Just as she was having a break down, the best site I could ever see came around the corner, the bus. One down, and one to go, Ian.
Ian wasn't very happy about Connor staying home either. I had to hear his ranting and raving about why he should get to stay home too. If I had to hear this isn't fair one more time, I was going to loose it! Trust me, if I was making the decisions, everyone would be in school. Ian really had a breakdown when I reminded him he had wrestling practice when he got home. This has been another issue around the house. Ian is in 5th grade and decided he wanted to try wrestling out. Some of his friends wrestle and So Ian got convinced somehow that he might like it. Plus, he thought the shoes were really cool. When he first told me this, my heart jumped in my throat. I really can't stand wrestling. Pat and his brother wrestled. I remember going to matches and looking around and seeing all the pasty, emaciated looking boys. They were all starving themselves to make weight. I was adamant that my son was never going to do that or wrestle for that matter. Eleven years later, here I am faced with the issue I thought I would never have. Years ago when Ian first saw a singlet, he was appalled. "Dad, that is way to tight! I don't want people to see my privates showing." That's all she wrote. Pat was disappointed but I was overjoyed. How did this all turn around? I still have no clue.
Last weekend, Pat entered Ian in a sort of scrimmage tournament. He said he had to get his feet wet before the real tournaments. I was crushed. I knew Ian was in for it. This is not an easy sport when you are a gentle heart like Ian. For goodness sakes, he picked kids up off the field during football games if he tackled them. And if he hurt them, it was even worse. He would feel so bad. Now he has to purposely go out and hurt someone. Now I walk into the gym right before Ian has to wrestle, and as soon as I walk to the corner of the mat, there are two kids wrestling about 7 or 8 years old. The kid on the bottom is on the bottom begging for the kid on top to stop hurting him. As the tears rolled down this little boys face, I lost it! I started to cry. I just wanted to rip that kid on top off and say stop!!!! I must have cried off and on the whole time we were there. Ian would lose, he would start crying and then I would start crying. Ian would lose again. He would start crying and I would start crying. Just when I was about to cry again, Regan walked up to me and said "jeeze louise, this room is filled with a lot of emotion!" I started to laugh hysterically! I looked aroung the room, and seriously, almost every boy who lost, came off the mat in tears. I didn't know if I could do this all year.
Well, today Ian had his first real tournament. I thought I was going to die when I learned he was wrestling a girl. My heart just sank. If he loses, he would be given a ration of shit from his teammates, not to mention the humiliation of it all. The whistle blew and they went at it. I was videotaping but I was just numb. She put up a good fight. That's for sure. Ian was wrestling with a lot of adrenaline. I knew he probably had the same thoughts I had. Ian was winning in points by the end of the first period. When the second period started, I was just wishing it would end. Luckily Ian put her in a head lock and pinned her for his sake. What boy could have lived that down? The girl got up crying from being practically choked to death and Ian didn't seem to feel bad at all. He was feeling pretty victorious. Where was Mr. Gentle Heart today? I hope he is not gone forever because I will miss him very much. If this is what wrestling does, I dislike it even more.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Laughing is Better Than Crying
I woke up for the normal morning ritual as usual. I made it to all the buses with no problems today. Because I had another hockey game today, I had to do all my pregame business on top of other business. Pregame stuff isn't a big deal, just a pain in the butt. On top of everything, Connor tells me he needs Julia Caesar for school. Well he was told before Christmas Break he needed it, but decided to tell me the day before class started that he needed the book. I can't stand procrastination. It really makes me mad! Thinking that Pat drives right by bookstores on the way home, I had him stop to pick it up. NO COPIES! It would have to be ordered. I was an English major in college so I knew I had a copy somewhere, most likely in storage boxes at my moms, but who wants to spend 3 hours looking over there? Now my blood pressure is rising. Why does this have to be my problem? We went to the mall over Christmas break. You think Connor could have mentioned this while we were there? That would have been to easy I guess. I let this bug me all day. I was really annoyed. I should have gone to kickboxing to let all the frustration go, but I had to get ready for the Hockey game.
As I was on way to the game, I remembered a little second hand book store that was on the way. It's small, but they usually have a pretty good inventory. When I walked in, the clerk wasn't around. I was in a rush. I had to meet dad to pick him up for the game. As I was looking around the clerk came up to me and offered her help which I gladly accepted. It's a confusing little book store. She lead me right to the section with Shakespeare. Right in front of my face was the last copy of Julia Caesar. RELIEF! I thought I was pushing it to ask if she had any cliff notes, but I asked anyway. She handed me the last copy of that too! Life was good again. Now Connor didn't have to die a tragic death like Caesar. He could live to see another day.
As I rolled up in the parking lot to pick up dad, I could already see the expression on his face. I was just waiting for the suburban jokes to start again. I know the car is a piece of shit, but that's how I have to roll these days. He opened the door, smiled, and said "The hoopty again?",that's his new nickname for the suburban. For a good few miles he kept telling me that he was going to call social services on Pat for making us drive around in this car that wasn't roadworthy. As he is telling me what he threatens to do, I was laughing hysterically because the car was missing. As he grabs the dashboard for his dear life, he asks me "Jesus Christ, are we even going to make it up the damn hill?". I guess laughing about it is better than crying. I've tried that. It doesn't work. Pat still won't get me a car. I carry the most precious cargo in the family, me. I guess I will include the kids too, but seriously, I am the spoke in the wheel.
The hockey game was great. The Caps won and I got all my commercial breaks in. On the way out to the car, I asked dad if it was snowing. He said"No. And, thank God for that because your tires are bald. Does your four wheel drive even work?" They are not bald(they could actually use a little more tread) and yes it works but most importantly, will the car even start? It did.
As I was on way to the game, I remembered a little second hand book store that was on the way. It's small, but they usually have a pretty good inventory. When I walked in, the clerk wasn't around. I was in a rush. I had to meet dad to pick him up for the game. As I was looking around the clerk came up to me and offered her help which I gladly accepted. It's a confusing little book store. She lead me right to the section with Shakespeare. Right in front of my face was the last copy of Julia Caesar. RELIEF! I thought I was pushing it to ask if she had any cliff notes, but I asked anyway. She handed me the last copy of that too! Life was good again. Now Connor didn't have to die a tragic death like Caesar. He could live to see another day.
As I rolled up in the parking lot to pick up dad, I could already see the expression on his face. I was just waiting for the suburban jokes to start again. I know the car is a piece of shit, but that's how I have to roll these days. He opened the door, smiled, and said "The hoopty again?",that's his new nickname for the suburban. For a good few miles he kept telling me that he was going to call social services on Pat for making us drive around in this car that wasn't roadworthy. As he is telling me what he threatens to do, I was laughing hysterically because the car was missing. As he grabs the dashboard for his dear life, he asks me "Jesus Christ, are we even going to make it up the damn hill?". I guess laughing about it is better than crying. I've tried that. It doesn't work. Pat still won't get me a car. I carry the most precious cargo in the family, me. I guess I will include the kids too, but seriously, I am the spoke in the wheel.
The hockey game was great. The Caps won and I got all my commercial breaks in. On the way out to the car, I asked dad if it was snowing. He said"No. And, thank God for that because your tires are bald. Does your four wheel drive even work?" They are not bald(they could actually use a little more tread) and yes it works but most importantly, will the car even start? It did.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
My Suburban
Tuesday started out just like any other morning. Clock goes off at 6:06 and the morning school ritual started. No drama! I can't believe it! It's only been two days though. The only thing different about tuesday is that I had a hockey game. That usually takes a big bite out of the day for me. And, I started back at the gym. That always stinks after not going the month of December. I am paying the price today! Spinning always kills me. I feel like I'm wearing my butt on my back this morning and my legs feel as hard as a rock. I was suppose to do Kickboxing this morning but I am just to exhausted, not from spinning, but getting home late from the game. Bed time for me is usually between 9-10p.m. I got home last night around 11:30p.m. Then it usually takes a while to wind down. So I probably got to sleep around 12-12:30. At 4a.m the worst noise you could ever hear woke me up, Pat's alarm clock. YIKES!!!!!!! He was up and off to go bird hunting. All I can say is don't bring anything dead home with you. I don't eat wild game. It grosses me out. I could never really get to sleep after that. I was in and out. I was finally asleep when my alarm went off at 6:06am. I did something I usually don't do. I hit the sleep. Regan came in and told me she was going downstairs. That means I have about 5 min before we go to meet the bus. I few minutes later I woke up to see I had slept for more than 5 minutes. Damn, we are going to miss the bus. That really puts a kink in things if Regan misses the bus. It starts a chain reaction of bad events. With Pat not here to drive her, it's especially worse. I jumped up ran downstairs and to my complete surprise, she was already gone. Now I felt bad. It's about 2 degrees out. I guess I should drive up to the stop so she can sit in the car. Well, she wasn't there! I knew she was probably in someone elses car, but your heart still jumps in your throat at the thought. She was in the Pitt's car. (sigh of relief) Everyone would rather be sitting in the Pitt's car. It's a brand new Escalade. My Suburban is as old as Regan(12)and smells like a dirty sock, which by the way is not my fault. I drove my dad to the game last night and he went on and on about how the car stunk. I have 3 kids that play sports. The car is bound to stink. What made it even worse is we got to the Hockey game and when I got in the cage(that is the area the players park), I had to park this huge monstrousity. There was a black escalade in the back corner of the garage and I thought it was Jeff Shultz's car. So I parked my hunk of junk right in front of his. Well is wasn't Shultzy car, it was one of the Wizards. As I turned the car off, he walked up to me and asked me if I could pull forward so he could get out. I'm thinking no problem. I go to restart the car and it took about 10 seconds to turn over. HOW EMBARRASSING! At this time, the Caps players were starting to arrive in their $300,000+ vehicles. Here I am in my dirty, stinky, scratched up, wires hanging out of the hitch, door squeaking, bald tire, vehicle, with a wizard player standing there worried as hell he's not getting out. He gave out a chuckle when the Suburban finally started. The whole night dad was asking everyone if they had a pair of jumper cables for after the game, just in case the suburban wouldn't start. The sad thing is I usually carry around a pair of jumper cables in the car for that reason. It's pretty sad when you have to say a little prayer that the car starts before you try to turn her on. After the game, as dad and I were making our way to the cage to leave, I asked him if he brought his walking shoes in case the car didn't start. He started to laugh, but it was a nervous laughter, like what I was saying could be a reality. I got in the car and said a little prayer and turned the key. It started!
Monday, January 4, 2010
January 4, 2010 Back to School and Back to Business
The alarm went off at 6:06 and the mad dash began. Regan was up and all ready to go. It doesn't take much time for me. I just throw on my Uggs, robe and a warm jacket over top and I am ready. We were out the door at 6:30 heading to the bus stop with no drama to start the day. It is freezing outside! The whole time at the bus stop, all I can think about is if Connor is up getting ready for school. By the time I get home, he needs to be dressed and ready to roll out the door. When I walked in the house, he was eating breakfast and ready to go. What a suprise! I am thinking to myself, he is trying to make up for losing his second retainer. I am still mad about that. Connor and I ran out the door to go to the bus stop. I have to drive him about 8 miles down the road. It is always the most stressfull time in the morning. If we miss the bus, the next stop is about 13 miles away and I have to drive like a bat out of hell to get there. If I miss that stop, I have to take him to school which is about another 22 miles. We made the bus today. Now it's back to get Ian off. He was ready to go too! Life is good this morning. That means we are all off to a good start.
It's a double edged sword for me when school starts back up. On the one hand I get a break and on the other I work twice as hard. The break is a wonderful calm that fills the day from 8-3:05. Craziness usually begins around 3:08 when Regan walks through the door. From her point of view, the sky is always falling. Just about the time she is heading into a full break down, I have to leave to go pick up Connor at the bus stop. As I head down the road, the only thought I have is how I am going to tune him out once he gets in the car. If I have to hear one more complaint about going to private school, I may lose it. I usually do lose it before the ride is over. He baits and hooks me everytime. I can't help it. I am just to opinionated. All I keep telling myself is he will appreciate this later. Somewhere between the time I pick up Connor and head home, Ian, my youngest is walking through the door from school. As Connor and I reach the driveway, usually still in an arguement, I run for the door making sure everyone is doing homework. Because I have to head out the door in about two hours to take Ian to Wrestling Practice, I am frantically trying to make sure all homework and questions needed to be asked of me are done before I leave.
If the kids aren't done by the time I need to leave, they know the window of opportunity is closed. They have to work with their dad when he gets home and that is not a good thing. The funny thing is, Pat likes to help with homework. But, he is usually just as confused by it as they are. The kids know its hit or miss if dad can help them or not. If dad can't help them, they have to come to me after I get home from practice and that is never a good idea. "Me time" starts at 8p.m. I am off the clock! As far as I'm concerned, everyone should be off the clock by 8p.m.
It's a double edged sword for me when school starts back up. On the one hand I get a break and on the other I work twice as hard. The break is a wonderful calm that fills the day from 8-3:05. Craziness usually begins around 3:08 when Regan walks through the door. From her point of view, the sky is always falling. Just about the time she is heading into a full break down, I have to leave to go pick up Connor at the bus stop. As I head down the road, the only thought I have is how I am going to tune him out once he gets in the car. If I have to hear one more complaint about going to private school, I may lose it. I usually do lose it before the ride is over. He baits and hooks me everytime. I can't help it. I am just to opinionated. All I keep telling myself is he will appreciate this later. Somewhere between the time I pick up Connor and head home, Ian, my youngest is walking through the door from school. As Connor and I reach the driveway, usually still in an arguement, I run for the door making sure everyone is doing homework. Because I have to head out the door in about two hours to take Ian to Wrestling Practice, I am frantically trying to make sure all homework and questions needed to be asked of me are done before I leave.
If the kids aren't done by the time I need to leave, they know the window of opportunity is closed. They have to work with their dad when he gets home and that is not a good thing. The funny thing is, Pat likes to help with homework. But, he is usually just as confused by it as they are. The kids know its hit or miss if dad can help them or not. If dad can't help them, they have to come to me after I get home from practice and that is never a good idea. "Me time" starts at 8p.m. I am off the clock! As far as I'm concerned, everyone should be off the clock by 8p.m.
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