Just Say No!

It really amazes me when people can't say no to things and then they have the nerve to complain about it. I have seen this happen time and time again. These people are just really nice or really stupid. I would like to opt for nice, because most of these people ARE my friends. I don't do stupid. Then again, I don't think these people are nice either. If they were just nice, they wouldn't complain about doing the nice things they get credit for. I am just flat out going to say no if I feel I am getting taken advantage of.

The first time this happened to me when I really recognized this happening was when I was a volunteer at the kids elementary school. I tried to be a volunteer in my kids class, but got stuck in some other teachers class. I didn't know any better. I took them at their word that my son's class was full. This teachers class was across the hall from Connor's class, so I figured I could just peek in on him when I was there. This teacher worked my ass off the two days that I volunteered during the week. I might as well have taught the class for her. I thought to myself, "Does she even do anything until I come in?" I did this ladies bulletin boards, copying, grading, and tutoring. I didn't just hang up things she gave me for her bulletin boards, I had to create it from scratch. She told me the theme and I came up with the idea and design. That was a shit load of work, but my bulletin boards were always the best in the school. I actually had teachers begging me to work in their class. I was thinking "Of course you do! You lazy bunch of bitches. Not only do I do great work, but I am doing all your work and I am doing it FOR FREE!!!!!". I wasn't even in the classroom with my son. That was the point in the first place. One day I overheard the teacher whose class I worked in talking to another teacher. The other teacher was telling her how lucky she was to have an aide like me a few days a week. Teacher I worked for commented back something like go find your own slave labor and keep your hands off mine. "Bullshit!!!! I am not your slave labor. Find some other sucker to do your homework for you because this girl is done!!!!". I know what your thinking. Did you say that? Hell no I didn't say that. I was thinking it. If I would have said that, Connor would have had to suffer the consequences of that. I just walked out and never came back. I haven't volunteered for the school system since that. Pat and I only do field trips. He takes one a year and I take one a year.

The incident that just happened recently happened to a friend of mine. This girl is a Saint! Well probably just a goodie to shoes. That is what I call her. My girlfriends daughter was going to her good friends birthday party. Her daughters friend asked my friend to make her birthday cake. She asked right in front of her own mother. Well my friend was caught off guard. This wasn't just an ordinary cake, it was a cake that was on the COVER of Martha Stewart Living Magazine. This little girl is only in third grade. Little kids say and ask for things all the time. They don't know that this cake is going to take a couple of days to make. My girlfriend should have said something like. " Oh that is a really pretty cake, I'm sure your mom would want to do that for you." or something like that. What worse is that the little girls mother didn't say anything when her daughter asked my girlfriend to make this magazine cover cake. So, my girlfriend said OK. When she told me the story, I couldn't believe it. I was infuriated for her. She was pretty pissed about it herself. She complained about doing it the whole day she had to take making it. The little girls mother even had the nerve to text my girlfriend to find out when she was going to have the cake done so she could get it over to her house before the party started. I'm sorry but that is NERVY!! I would have cussed that mother out by now. Actually I would have said NO!!!!!!! in the first place.

After all that bitching and complaining by my girlfriend and me lecturing her on how to tell people NO, she just made excuses for the other mother. "Well, she's poor, or she's just a sorry little nice redneck, and my daughter is really good friends with her." WHO CARES!! SHE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOUR KINDNESS!!! I think she was just making excuses for herself for letting someone take advantage of her. Furthermore, you can't claim to be a Saint if you complain about doing an act of kindness. Your not being kind then. I won't canonize her just yet. She does everything! She will make you and me look bad. It's almost annoying sometimes. If her husband wants sex, she gives it to him. If her kids ask her to do something, she will drop what she is doing to do it, even though her kids are more than capable. If she wants to take a trip, god forbid, she will be made to feel bad about it. It's bullshit. This is a strong, smart, and capable women. It's time she start to stand up for herself, but she won't.

First of all, if I ever just gave Pat sex when he wanted it, he would probably have a heart attack on the spot. My kids are self sufficient because I don't wait on them hand and foot. Nobody puts this baby in the corner. I will always be out front and straight forward with you about how I feel.and I will never let anyone take advantage of me or someone I care about. Once you learn that is OK to say "NO" when people ask you to do something, it gets easier. Why are you saying yes to doing things that make you uncomfortable in the first place?