SNOW over it!

I am so over all this snow. We have had enough family bonding to last us through the next decade. Ok, well not bonding really. We all hid in our little corners in the house. But, when we did have to hang together, it could get really ugly. I swear the kids minds were turning into jello. Having over a week off from school was making them stupid.
Connor slept in until 12 noon pretty much everyday. I'm not even sure he bothered to take a shower that often. HELLO!!!!!!! "It's just a little snow.....Ok a lot of snow, but it will go away, your B.O. won't!" Connor would come down just about everyday after he woke up wondering why he didn't get any breakfast. Again....HELLO!!!!!! It's lunch time you dork! Since when am I his personal servant? He has lived with me for 14 years. You think he would know by now that he is on his own. Furthermore, when I make breakfast, lunch, or dinner, you need to come down and eat it when its there. You will get no other meal 3 hours later when the kitchen has been cleaned up.
I have a routine. Don't screw with it because it's not going to change. It's just like when I do the laundry, have it in the laundry room on Wednesday. If it's not there, it doesn't get washed. I hate doing laundry. Don't come and ask me to wash something when it's all done, unless you want a serious tongue lashing. I might even make you fold all the laundry if you ask me to wash something for you when I just spent 3 hours cleaning the crap off all your clothes. In short, the kids don't ask me anymore because they know better now. When I say get your stuff together, they get it together. When I say it's breakfast, you come and eat. Connor seems to think I am going to turn into this mother of the year and make him a hot breakfast 3 hours later. NOT!!!!!
Regan, bless her little heart, is not going to miss any meal. She knows the consequences. She likes to be waited on. If I am going to make a meal, she is going to take advantage of it. She's smart. She knows that while I am cooking she may get me to make something a little different for her. She actually stayed the most busy during this whole snow break. She would go over friends houses to go sledding and not come back for a few days. Smart girl. Who would want to be cooped up with me and Pat? That has "Lets do some work around the house written all over it".
I barely even saw Ian. He only came down to eat when I called him down. He is addicted to X-Box live. I had to go see him to make sure he was showering and brushing his teeth. I still ask myself "Why do I have to tell these kids to brush their teeth?"
Toward the end of the snow break. Pat and his brother decided they were going to get together. We were all getting a little cabin fever. Sean and Erin and their two kids were going to come and stay the night. This is always a fun time. Although Pat and Sean can get loud and crazy, not to mention annoying. They also tend to do some stupid things. Make no mistake, they are very smart boys, but alcohol does crazy things to those two and turns them into a couple of dumb-asses. This weekend was no exception. It started out as it normally does. We had a long cocktail hour, followed by a nice dinner. After dinner, we continued to drink and hang out. Around 11:30 p.m. I started to fade, as well as the kids and Erin. We all decided we were going to bed. Pat and Sean were not to happy about that idea at all. They were getting there second wind. Pat decided it would be a great idea if he and Sean went to the local dive down the road to finish off the evening with drinks there. NOT!!! I told Pat that he better not drive. "And under no circumstance was he to drive the suburban. It is the only car I have." Not to mention, that car will kill someone. He said he wouldn't drive the suburban, so I went to sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, it was early. I went to look out the window and noticed that Erin's new SUV was in the middle of our driveway. NOT GOOD! We weren't even using our driveway during the Blizzard because the snow drift was about 4 feet high. We were using our neighbors driveway because the trees blocked the snow drifts from covering their driveway. Just as I was discovering the car stuck, Pat was getting up. I went to ask him about the car and he said Sean wanted to show him how good his 4 wheel drive was last night. He was laughing pretty good while he told me the story. I guess even 4 wheel drives have their limits. The limit must be 4 feet of snow and ice. Then he proceeded to tell me the suburban was stuck too. WHAT!!!!!!!! Pat said after Sean got stuck he was going to give him a little nudge to get him out. NUDGE!!????? I'm thinking " What are you thinking you dumb-ass?" The suburban is not the type of car you want to nudge another car with. The Hoopty is a tank! It would go right through the back end of Sean's car. Luckily he did get it stuck.
After we got through with breakfast, our neighbor and good friend Tom came over with his toys to get the cars out. Ours shouldn't be a problem, because it didn't even make it into the driveway. That got me thinking. How did Sean make it in so far. His SUV is much smaller than the surburban. Come to find out he hit the beginning of the driveway in his drunken stupor at about 35-40 miles an hour. He basically launched himself 1/4 of the way down the driveway. You may be thinking "Launch?" Well, a few days before they came over we had to reshovel the neighbors drive at the end because of the snow drifts by the wind. I told Pat we should probably shovel the end of our driveway so the plows know its a driveway and not a place to pile the snow. Well, he didn't want to do it and guess what? You got it. The plows piled the snow at the end of our driveway. I say the pile was about 15ft high. I really thought I was going to kill Pat when I saw that. Luckily that night we caught the snow plow on our street and told him and he cleared it out pretty good because this shit wouldn't have melted until June! So this is where the launch thing comes into play. Even though he cleared the end of the driveway, there was still about a foot and a half of built up snow and ice at the bottom that the plow didn't get up. Sean must have hit that little ice ramp and he and Pat(now known as the Duke boys) flew half was down the drive. What a couple of idiots. The real Duke boys never got stuck. But Pat and Sean being only and imitation of the real thing, got stuck pretty good. So now Posey was here to pull them out. They were out there for a while. When they made there way in, I grabbed my camera to take those two knuckle-heads picture with their snow shovels. They were both acting pretty weird. I started to walk back in when Pat said he need to tell me something. Well, actually he need to show me something. He walked me to the back of the suburban and pointed to the back door. "What in the hell did you do?!!!!!!!" My back window was gone. The chain Tom was using snapped and flew through the window. "Thanks a lot Pat! You better warm your right hand up, because you are going to be writing a really big check!" I only have one car and it's in a fragile state. It is 12 years old and probably hanging on for dear life. This is precisely why Pat was forbidden to drive it last night. He doesn't have very good judgement when he consumes the captain. It could have been much worse. He could have driven through the back of Erins new truck with his, "We will just give it a little nudge", idea.

The only bonus to the whole situation was that Tom had to plow out part of our driveway to get to Seans car. Too bad he didn't launch in deeper. Oh, and I most likely will get a brand new car out of it. Sometimes you have to just love it when Pat gets together with the Captain and does his stupid little tricks. Doesn't he know by now that the captain is a bad influence and makes him do things he wouldn't do otherwise. Wait, let me think about that again. Ok, I will give him a break here. He probably wouldn't do stupid things to the degree the captain would make him do it. Maybe I should sign Pat and Sean up for Letterman's Stupid pet tricks segment. I'm sure those two have many more dumb-ass tricks up their sleeves.